Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
don't judge my taste in strippers
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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