yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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