In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
