I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
only you would photoshop your dick
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
