even my farts smell like vagina
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
