like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
