Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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