I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
do herpes really smell.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
