Kiss
Puke
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
