The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
