5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
