The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
