i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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