We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
