you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He passed out mid-signature
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
