Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
