p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
