My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
