I'm so fucking centered right now
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
