Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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