Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Let's paint friendship bongs
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
