I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
