seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
