yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
