I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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