You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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