Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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