it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
