u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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