Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
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