Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
