She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
