Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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