I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
