i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
