shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
