Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
