dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
