accomplished twins. life is a go
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
