I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
