We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
