Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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