Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize