I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just found puke in my bra..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
