she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
