no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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