I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
