Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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