Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
