so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Naked Twister starts at high noon
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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